reflection
Beyond the Banners: The Quiet Cost of Pride
by Anthony Tannous, MD, FACS This is a special edition blog post presented in partnership with the Association of Out Surgeons and Allies in celebration of Pride Month. June bursts forth in a riot of color, a seemingly utopian vision of equality and dignity, often accompanied by a healthy dose of corporate branding. Around the Western world, joyful — and perhaps slightly inebriated — celebrants reclaim public spaces, belting pop anthems and radiating pure, unadulterated queer joy. This year, however, the glitter feels heavier, the music a little more poignant. The comfort and acceptance we’ve come to expect are under strategic, relentless attack. Bigotry has shed its hood and robe for tailored suits and eloquent speeches. It occupies podiums, commands microphones, and infiltrates mainstream podcasts. They begin, as always, with the most vulnerable: our trans siblings. But history, that unsparing teacher, reminds us that the target will inevitably widen to...
Stitch by Stitch
By Tala AbedalqaderI’ve always found a certain sense of purpose in using my hands. Whether it’s an embroidery thread sliding through fabric or suture material passing through layers of skin, I found that there’s a rhythm and purpose that drives me. Whether it’s art or surgery, my hands are driven by the same intention – to create and repair.Crocheting, embroidery, and sketching were creative outlets I picked up in medical school that gave me a sense of peace and the opportunity to relieve stress. As I grew more interested in surgery, I started to notice how these hobbies weren’t just therapeutic, but they were also shaping my skills in meaningful ways. The dexterity I harbored from manipulating threaded needles and hooks granted me with fine motor skills that I would use, first in simulation, then in the operating room. Similarly, sketching proved to be an excellent and highly useful skill...
To Come Out (Again) or Not? A Surgeon’s Reflections on Identity in the Workplace
This is a special edition blog post presented in partnership with the Association of Out Surgeons and Allies in celebration of Pride Month.By Dr. Kayleigh M. Herrick-Reynolds As I am speed-rounding to get to the OR on time, my patient catches a glimpse of my wedding ring and asks, “Is your husband a doctor too?” This question—a genuine interest in my life and a plea for the normalcy of casual conversation as I wake them at 6:00 a.m—is also just the first of many times that day I will have to choose how to answer.Surgical training requires intense focus, commitment, resilience, and sacrifice. For anyone who does not fit the stereotype of “surgeon” or who holds a non-traditional identity, the mental choreography of deciding how much of ourselves to share in the workplace adds a layer of stress to an already high-stakes job. Particularly as a trainee, the rigid hierarchy...
Visibility and Possibility
This is a special edition blog post presented in partnership with the Association of Out Surgeons and Allies in celebration of Pride Month. By: Aeryn Kangas-Dick MD I knew I was transgender since I was a child, but I never had the language to say what that meant. All I knew was what I saw on television— transgender people were often played for comic relief, or sometimes for shock value. Role models were few and very far between, and I had certainly never heard of a transgender surgeon. During my planned research year between my second and third years of surgical training, I was called to serve as an ICU resident during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic in New York City. As many did after confronting the horrors of this experience, I realized I didn’t want to spend more time pretending to be something I wasn’t. However I was...
Scalpels and Strings: Similarities between the Orchestra and the OR
By Dr. Sruti Cheruvu Some of the earliest lessons I learned that helped prepare me to be a surgeon came from the orchestra. I played violin and viola in my school and regional orchestras throughout high school. Some of my fondest memories are of working on Mozart, Tchaikovsky, and Shostakovich - learning my pieces inside and out through hours of practice. It was often grueling but deeply gratifying. I made friends from across sections, including fellow string players and wind and brass musicians. We would share parts and swap cues to see how our different parts fit together. I often leaned over to ask the concertmaster or the cellist sitting next to me if I could look at their score to understand how my part fit into the bigger picture. If our director gave a cue for the clarinets before our entrance, I would write that part into my music....
A Surgical Resident’s Journey to Authenticity
By Dr. Steven Xie This is a special edition blog post presented in partnership with the Association of Out Surgeons and Allies in celebration of Pride Month. Every member of the LGBTQ+ community has a unique story and journey in coming out. Often, coming out isn’t a single moment, but a continuous process of choosing to live authentically, sometimes in spaces that are not built or ready for it. Growing up at the intersection of being Asian American and gay, I internalized the idea that my identity was something to hide–something I should be ashamed of. There was a deep fear of disappointing my family, whose ideology likely stemmed from the cultural silence around queerness, and their fear of what being gay meant for my future. I immersed myself in academics, kept my head buried in books, hoping academic success would protect me from shame. I viewed excellence as a...
Finding Joy in Food and Culture During Residency
By Dr. Victoria Prete This is a special edition blog post presented in partnership with the Society of Asian Academic Surgeons in celebration of Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month. ‘Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food’ is a sentiment commonly attributed to Hippocrates and often preached in medicine, but rarely followed by residents and fellows. The stress of training, combined with limited time and access to quality food, makes prioritizing delicious meals difficult if not impossible. Like most first- and second-generation Asian-Americans, much of my life revolves around sharing food as part of a community. While I sacrifice much of myself to training, I hold onto my love of food and this link to my heritage. Food plays a pivotal role in Asian culture, serving as more than sustenance for the body; food provides a means of replenishing the soul. Throughout my life, my mother...
Training Your Subconscious Mind in Residency
By Dr. Anupama Singh This is a special edition blog post presented in partnership with the Society of Asian Academic Surgeons in celebration of Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month. Training my subconscious mind and building mental fortitude is a vital skill I learned at the start of my surgical residency. It molded me into a calmer person capable of adapting to any challenging situation and instilled in me a growth mindset that benefits me in all areas of my life, not just in residency. I wasn’t always like this. In high school, my friends and family labeled me as a “high-functioning anxious person.” I remember being unbothered by it. I still got the good grades and it didn’t matter if these achievements were the result of sleepless nights and spiraling, anxious thoughts that were trying to predict every outcome. That mentality was challenged when I started surgical residency,...
As a female surgeon, can I actually have a child-and when?
by Dr. Deepa Patel This is a special edition blog post presented in partnership with the Society of Asian Academic Surgeons in celebration of Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month. Female surgeons serving a dual role as mothers are no longer a rarity, as over one third of us have a child during residency. Despite these statistics, I continue to hear that many female medical students avoid careers in surgery as they think that pursuing such a career would hinder their ability to have children. Hearing these concerns surprises me. I have always considered my career a top priority but did know that at some point, I also wanted children. I never considered these goals in opposition. As a young attending about to have her first child within 2 years of finishing a colorectal fellowship, I have found that balancing pregnancy with a career is possible-but needs to be...
Dancing Into Destiny: The Unexpected Paths That Shape Us
By Dr. Chi Zhang This is a special edition blog post presented in partnership with the Society of Asian Academic Surgeons in celebration of Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month. I was objectively terrible at dancing. My limbs felt too long, and my footwork betrayed even the simplest beat. My parents quickly unenrolled me from ballet. This was only partially because of my pleading, but they were probably relieved to no longer suffer second-hand embarrassment. While I thought my dancing career was over at the ripe age of 7, my dancing inabilities returned to haunt me when I was invited to be a part of my friend’s quinceañera. Out of obligation, and perhaps some curiosity, I accepted, unaware that this would be a turning point in my life. Unaware yet that a similar transformation would lead me to a life in the operating room. At rehearsal, as music pulsed...
