SBAS – Sunday Series: Finding joy in the little things

by Dr. Crystal Johnson-Mann

Most would agree that achieving the idyllic dream of self-care can be challenging at baseline, let alone when trying to incorporate it into a demanding surgeon schedule. The activities that fulfill one’s idea of self-care are highly variable, depending on who you ask. For some, it is a relaxing day at the spa; for others, it may be quiet and solitude in one’s “happy” place. In the current climate, self-care is of the utmost importance. But how exactly does one achieve it?

This is much easier said than done, as one would presume. I’m an academic surgeon, wife, mother to 2 little boys, and a former D-I college athlete. I have repeatedly said at the start of each new year since becoming a mom almost 6 years ago that I would make a special attempt to really lean into devoting time periodically for me…to preserve my sanity and refill my cup so that I can continue to be there for all of the people (and patients) that need me. Have I achieved this? Not really if I am being honest, or at least not as I had initially envisioned. Work (or life) has altered any plans previously made time and time again. As this occurred, I became more frustrated about my inability to make it work out as planned. You may know the saying, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.” In this state of frustration, I realized I need to stop putting such rigid goals about this into place, and look for other things in my everyday life that refill my cup.

For example, my kids. I mentioned I was a former college athlete but didn’t mention that I also married a former college athlete. Our oldest son is five (almost six if you ask him) and is bright, energetic, amazingly empathetic, and dare I say it – a natural athlete. We have been watching him since he was about 2 years old, running around the house, deftly contorting his little body to miss furniture and other objects, while running at full speed. He has come into his own with sports over the years, and now at almost 6, he can’t wait to go practice routes after a flag football game or work on his dribbling and lay up skills after basketball games. I have affectionately (or not) been given the title of “Coach Mom” by my husband because I literally cannot help but yell and scream encouragement (and reminders) during his games. This has been the highlight of my week this academic year – getting to watch him develop a love of sports on his own. I have watched him take some pretty hard falls and collide with other players, yet get right back up on his own accord and hustle down the court/field. I admit – it sparks a ton of joy in my little heart to see this as sports have been a formative part of my life for as long as I can remember. There were so many invaluable lessons about teamwork, working towards a goal, managing interpersonal relations with others, overcoming adversity, conflict resolution, mental toughness, etc. that are hard to teach in other environments. Our new thing this academic year has also been going on “mommy and son” dates to UF sporting events – his joy during these moments together brings me such happiness.

But as I mentioned, I have two sons. My youngest son is 2.5 years old and keeps me on my toes. Everything I thought I knew about kids disappeared with him when he turned one and became a full-fledged toddler! He is smart, funny, kind, and determined. He knows what he wants, goes after it, and notably stands up for himself. He loves making music and playing pretend. His favorite pretend activities involve running around the house on a light saber declaring that he is Harry Potter (since we don’t have a broom for him), and reciting various spell incantations with pretend wands. He is also quite fond of our pet cat (they are besties), and is his big brother’s biggest fan. His big brother is also a huge fan of his little brother, and I love how much they love each other. By being themselves, they instantly lift my spirits when I come home after a hard day or a long week at work. It doesn’t get any better than this, and time spent with them is the best self-care I could ask for.

I am a clinical assistant professor in the department of surgery at the University of Florida, specializing in bariatric/foregut surgery. My educational background is mainly in South Carolina, where I grew up, attending the University of South Carolina for my undergraduate years and the Medical University of South Carolina for medical school. I stayed in Charleston at MUSC for my general surgery training before relocating to Charlottesville and the University of Virginia for fellowship training. My clinical and research interests are centered on my clinical practice and investigating equity in health care access, delivery, and outcomes. When not caring for patients or teaching, I enjoy traveling and spending time with my family.