I am Superwoman, I can do it all, but should I?

By Dr. Ashley Toussaint

Since I was young, I’ve been called a “workhorse.” I’m the one people rely on to get things done, to do more, be more. If something needs to be handled, I’m your woman. That mentality has pushed me through life, and it has served me well. I was a Division 1 athlete in college, then went to medical school, and now, I’m a general surgery resident.

That same mentality has carried me through my residency, too. I’ve had two kids while in residency and am currently expecting my third. I delivered both of my children the same day I worked at 40+ weeks pregnant, 18 months apart. I managed to breastfeed and pump for both of my daughters for over a year each. It wasn’t always easy, pumping while rounding on patients, operating, even driving to work. There were days when I did laparoscopic and robotic surgery with my breast pump on because I couldn’t find the time to step away. I was determined to be “Superwoman,” to do it all without asking for help or inconveniencing anyone.

There’s one moment that sticks out in my mind. I was pumping when a cardiac arrest was called on one of my patients. I had to rush in and run a code, all while wearing my pumps. It was chaotic, but in that moment, I felt invincible. I thought to myself, I’m saving a life, pumping for my girls, and building my surgical career. I was doing it all, and it felt empowering.

But then, a thought crept in: Should I be doing all of this? Sure, I could handle it at that moment, but should I be pushing myself to such extremes all the time? Nursing and pumping, at least, are temporary. The mentalities I’ve built around pushing myself, always doing more, are long-lasting. And I wondered, is this sustainable?

In my career, there’s always more to do, more publications to chase, more advancements, more fellowships. There’s always a next step. But when does it end? When do I say, enough is enough. I am happy and fulfilled right where I am?

I’ve always been taught to keep striving, to keep reaching for the next milestone. I’ll be happy when I’m a fellow. I’ll be happy when I become an attending. But will I? Is it the idea of constantly striving to achieve that fulfills me? Or is it the chase itself that becomes my definition of success?

Somewhere along the way, I’ve forgotten how to appreciate the here and now. We’ve all been taught to chase something bigger, better, more. But how do we know when enough truly is enough?

Maybe it’s not about being Superwoman. Maybe it’s about recognizing when to step back, breathe, and accept that we are enough, just as we are, in this moment. And, maybe, that’s the true superpower.

Dr. Ashley Ostler Toussaint is a General Surgery resident at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital in New Brunswick, NJ, with an expected graduation date of 2027. She earned her Doctorate of Osteopathy from Rocky Vista University College of Osteopathic Medicine and a Bachelor of Science from Southern Utah University. Throughout her medical journey, Dr. Toussaint has maintained a strong commitment to both her academic and professional growth while balancing the demands of family life as a wife and mother of two, soon to be three.

In addition to her clinical and research achievements, Dr. Toussaint is a passionate advocate for resident wellness and has been actively involved in initiatives to enhance mental health support in surgical residency programs. She has launched wellness programs such as the Nadi Shuddhi and Isha Kriya pilot group within her department and serves on various leadership committees at Rutgers. Her dedication to both her professional and personal life has earned her multiple accolades, including the Rutgers Health GME Professionalism Award and residency ombudsmen.