Feeling Behind in Medical School and in Life

31 Jul 2024

By Jenna Dvorsky

 

Medical school is a long, challenging path with delayed gratification. For the majority of those that choose to take this route, the four years of medical school occur during the prime years of early adulthood. This is true for myself, as a 26-year-old who has just completed my third year. 

 

When I first started medical school at 23, I knew I had a demanding road ahead. Despite knowing the grueling nature of medical school, I expected that I would go through my four years seamlessly with my head down, focused on becoming a doctor. I had goals to do well in my pre-clinical years, excel on my board exams, and honor every rotation. While I have had great successes the last few years that I am extremely proud of, medical school has proven to be a trying time with bumps in the road. I’ve had multiple personal struggles, which is likely true for everyone, but my hardships over the last 1-2 years seemed to come at the worst possible times, and definitely affected me as a medical student greater than I anticipated. Still even in the face of adversity, I managed to make it through STEP1, all my required rotations, and most recently STEP2. 

 

Throughout the last few months as a seasoned third year medical student, the time to start thinking about residency and life after medical school felt so close and tangible. I have known for a long time that I want to pursue a surgical specialty, specifically orthopaedic or trauma surgery. Over the past few months when it came time to look inward and assess myself as a surgical residency candidate, I was not sure how I would fare in a competitive residency match, especially for orthopaedic surgery. For as long as I can remember, throughout all stages of my education, I’ve been prepared and put together, but as I near the end of medical school, I do not feel that way at all. After multiple discussions with residents, attendings, and mentors at my home institution, in addition to many late nights weighing my options, I ultimately decided to take a research year between my third and fourth years of medical school.

 

At the time, and even to some extent now, this felt like a failure in my mind. At the end of my third year, I felt competent as a medical student, confident in the hospital, and excited as I pictured myself as a doctor. Simply put, taking another year to do research was not on my original agenda, especially since I had already completed a one-year master’s before starting medical school. It is true that in recent years, many choose to take a research year(s) during medical school and the so-called “nontraditional path” is actually becoming the more traditional way to become a doctor. Yet all I could think initially was I should be on my fourth-year rotations, applying to residency, and preparing to graduate medical school. Enter the feeling of being behind in medical school. 

 

Perhaps the biggest struggle for me personally is feeling like I have set back my own timeline. I thought that I would be done with medical school by this time next year. I thought I would be a doctor at 27 not 28. I have to recognize that taking this extra year is another year of my life spent as a student. I can’t help but think about the things outside of medicine I have yet to do or even been close to doing in my life, such as traveling, getting married, having kids. I also believe that these worries are heightened as a woman pursuing surgery as all the “what if’s” pop into my mind: What if I never get married? What if my career in medicine hinders my fertility? At times, my personal reality and fears for the future make me sad, especially when I see so many of my classmates getting engaged and doing other ‘big life things’. I think now being in the latter half of my 20s, I have more of a sense of time passing by than ever before, hence my feelings of also being behind in life.

 

While these feelings of being behind in medical school and in life can be quite heavy and isolating at times, I would bet that many other medical students, especially women, are feeling the same way. My new timeline has pushed the perfectionist inside of me to step aside and give myself grace, as I learn to accept that everyone’s path in medicine looks different, including my own. In the meantime, I continue to remind myself that I’m still taking small steps every day towards my dream of becoming a surgeon. My new goals are to use my research year not just to publish papers and network, but also to take time for myself mentally, think more about what I want in my life as a resident, and gain more confidence for residency applications. I used to think of myself in comparison to other medical students around me, but this year feels more like a competition with myself rather than with others. I will continue trying to find enjoyment in life through any and all struggles and be thankful for the process, trusting my hardships will only make me stronger as a surgeon in the future.





Jenna is a medical student at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine and is originally from Pittsburgh, PA. She received her Bachelors of Science at John Carroll University where she majored in Biology and minored in Chemistry and Exercise Science. While there she also was a member of the women’s varsity volleyball team. Prior to starting medical school, Jenna completed a Masters of Science in Biomedical Sciences. Outside of medical school she enjoys playing volleyball when she can, spending time with family and friends, and taking trips to visit her sisters in North Carolina and Texas (fun fact: Jenna is a triplet!) She can be found on Instagram @jennadvorsky

 

2 Replies to “Feeling Behind in Medical School and in Life”

  1. Jenna-thanks so much for sharing your journey. Although you may feel that your path is non-traditional, it is actually so wise to take some time to reflect on who you have become and where you are going. You will be so much more prepared to shine during your M4 year!

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