By: Denise Nemeth
Pediatrics has never been my forte. As a former Physician Assistant accustomed to adult care, the prospect of caring for neonates filled me with apprehension. No one really tells you how difficult it can be to navigate rotations. It is like having a new job each month. Each rotation: an unknown. With each rotation comes a new attending, new residents, a new building, new rules, and new expectations. Only those in medicine know what third year of medical school is truly like. During clinical clerkships you are expected to switch specialties monthly while mastering the learning curve within the first day, lest you be deemed the “slow one”. I can hold my own. I am a fast learner and can find my way through unspoken rules and new environments. But this time it was different. I was about to go into the world of tiny humans. The day I stepped into the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), I was acutely aware of my discomfort. Would I break one? Why did something so small make me so nervous?!
The air was thick with urgency as nurses hurriedly attended to preterm infants, their tiny bodies fighting for every breath. “I am so out of place here,” I mumbled under my breath, feeling like an intruder in this world of delicate balances and tiny miracles. I have never felt out of place in a hospital setting. This was so unlike me. Then again, this was completely out of my wheelhouse despite having completed a whole month of pediatric surgery earlier in the year.
The first encounters were daunting. Two preterm babies, fragile and in distress, had just arrived, demanding immediate attention from the entire team. I stood aside, unsure of where I fit in this chaotic scene and perfectly synchronized ballet of medical expertise. The nurses, however, were quick to notice my unease. With reassuring smiles hidden behind their masks, they took me under their wing. Patiently, they introduced me to the intricacies of neonatal care—the monitors, ventilators, and the gentle art of handling a newborn with care.
As the day progressed, I met my attending and resident who would be my guide through this unfamiliar terrain. They welcomed my questions and encouraged me to take on tasks that stretched my abilities. Their warmth and patience were a stark contrast to my initial anxieties. Laughter filled our shifts, reminding me that even in the most stressful environments, humanity and humor thrive. I welcomed the banter and quirky questions such as: “If you were a vegetable, what would you be?” As the week unfolded, I found myself unexpectedly enchanted by the smallest of moments, such as learning how to swaddle a newborn. I found joy in choosing which of our newborns had the cutest outfit of the day during rounds, delighting in their miniature onesies and tiny dinosaur-printed socks. These daily rituals became the highlight of my day, second only to the attending’s generous gesture of a Twix ice cream bar after successfully completing rounds—a small reward that symbolized kindness and recognition in a demanding field.
Beyond the medical lessons, this rotation taught me profound life lessons. It taught me never to dismiss any opportunity for growth, regardless of initial discomfort. It underscored the importance of learning from everyone around me—nurses, residents, nurse practitioners, and attending physicians alike—each offering unique insights and perspectives that enriched my understanding of patient care. It reminded me to trust that even when faced with uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations, I have the ability to develop new skills and thrive in new environments, as challenging as they might be. Above all, it emphasized the power of kindness and compassion in fostering a supportive learning environment. It comes as no surprise that surgery programs haven’t always been known to be the friendliest or warmest. As the surgical training culture continues to change and improve, I hope I can contribute to this change as a student, resident and hopefully one day, as a future Program Director.
Now, as I stand on the precipice of licensing exams and residency applications, the weight of uncertainty presses upon me. The stress is palpable, and the future is daunting. Yet, despite all the chaos and challenges, one truth remains with me: joy and community can be found in unexpected places. In the NICU, amidst the beep of monitors and the tiny swaddled babies, I discovered a community bound by a shared dedication to healing and humanity.
To my fellow future surgeons and surgeons in training embarking on their own journeys, I offer this reflection. Embrace every rotation, however daunting it may seem. Learn voraciously from every interaction. Be kind and compassionate, for the impact we have on others transcends the boundaries of medicine. In the hustle and bustle of our careers, let us remember that even through challenges lie moments of unexpected joy and profound growth waiting to be discovered.
To the attending and resident that helped me come to these realizations: I am deeply grateful. Thank you for showing me the type of attending and resident that I would like to be and the kind of mentorship I aspire to provide. Thank you for showing me compassion when I needed it the most and expected it the least. Above all, thank you for showing me that kindness and constructive criticism are not mutually exclusive. You demonstrated that dedication and effective teaching need not come at the expense of empathy. At the risk of sounding cliche, it is certainly true what they say: “People may not always remember what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel”.
Bio: @dv_nemeth
Denise Nemeth is a fourth-year medical student at the UIWSOM in San Antonio, TX and will be applying to General Surgery residency this upcoming September for Match 2025. Denise aspires to become a rural surgeon and is considering pursuing a fellowship in Surgical Oncology. She recently finished her term as the Association of Women Surgeons (AWS) National Medical Student Committee (NMSC) 2023-24 Social Media and Marketing Coordinator and has been an active member of the AWS Communications Committee for the last four years. She is passionate about providing healthcare to marginalized communities and is a strong advocate for Latinx health and increasing the number of Latinx physicians and surgeons. In her spare time, she loves traveling the world, reading, and writing. Recently, she graduated from the Universidad Autónoma de Guadalajara with a degree in Tequila Production and Marketing. She is very proud of this achievement as it deepens her connection to her heritage and allows her to share her culture with both old and new friends.