By: Ariana Naaseh, MD, MPHS
Often the first thing I get asked by friends and family regarding residency is “So what year are you in now?” followed by “So what exactly are you doing?” These questions have heightened since entering professional development time in June 2023, as I’ve been much more present at gatherings. It’s challenging to explain exactly what goes on during these two years of professional and personal growth.
One of my commitments to myself upon entering General Surgery residency was to not lose myself, and my core interests. Some days that proved to be easier than others. I had to be stringent in recognizing not only what truly mattered to me, but also what was feasible within the confines of clinical duties and rest. There were some major and minor sacrifices made while adjusting to a new life in a new city, learning how to live with my now husband, learning how to be a surgeon, and building my St. Louis community. I stuck to the essentials – my Orangetheory membership, cooking at home, my time outside in nature, travel, and filling my cup with family and friends. That looked different day to day, week to week, month to month.
Then came June 2023. Professional development time was in front of me. The two-year block with endless time to mold to fit my interests and needs. It’s such a blank slate that I was overwhelmed to navigate it. I was lucky enough to have rigorous advising to come into the time with an established research plan and guaranteed funding, but what about all of the other hours? Going from working for a greater portion of the week to having much more free time made fitting in everything I wanted to do seem much more doable. Overall, fewer sacrifices needed to be made and I could go back to being the “yes” girl I once was. I was a bridesmaid in two of my best friends’ weddings. I got married and traveled for over 2 weeks in Italy with my husband. I was present at every important family birthday, graduation, and holiday.
Early on though, I got caught up in the nuances of what I felt I should be doing and accomplishing. Academia undoubtedly has its pressures. I felt that while I was so proud of everything I was doing to enrich myself personally, it was not enough. I am completing a 10-month Masters of Population Health Sciences this month which helped alleviate some of those concerns as I spent the greater deal of this year learning and imagining and completing projects through my classes. I have worked on my major cancer genetic equity project throughout the degree program and done some surgical education research. I submitted to present at conferences and published manuscripts. The thought still lingered in the back of my mind – am I doing enough? Am I involved enough? Do I have enough on my plate? Is it ok to take these breaks? The answer to these questions differs based on who you talk to.
One of our wonderful Graduate Medical Education psychologists at Washington University in St. Louis who I have seen monthly since starting residency asked me a very simple question – “Imagine you are yourself in June 2025. You’re about to go back to clinical residency. What will you be proud of that you accomplished?” I answered that I would be proud of working on and discovering myself, spending time outside and with family and friends, and enriching myself with professional activities that would help me in my future academic career. From there, I was able to build a list of goals and priorities for my time. Most importantly, not all of them were professional. She normalized for me that professional development is much more than academic productivity and enrichment. Now, I am spending my time conducting research, taking classes and attending national conferences, getting involved on a national level with organizations that align with my values and professional goals, and ensuring I am making time for the personal events and time that matters to me.
I still don’t have a great answer of how to get rid of the nagging voice in the back of my head that I am not doing enough, but surrounding myself with a supportive community who shares similar values and goals has been so helpful in feeling secure in the decision to spend this time on me even if that path looks different from one of my co-residents.
BIOGRAPHY:
Ariana Naaseh is a general surgery resident in her first year of two professional development years at Washington University in St. Louis. She grew up in Southern California and attended University of California, Berkeley where she earned her degree in Cognitive Science. She earned her M.D. at University of California, Irvine School of Medicine before relocating to St. Louis with her husband and fellow general surgery co-resident Steven Tohmasi. Ariana’s primary research focuses are in understanding breast cancer care disparities and improving genetic equity along with surgical education with an emphasis on medical student experiences on the surgery clerkship, residency recruitment, and wellness. As a general surgery resident, she serves on WashU’s Curriculum Committee and Wellness Committee. She is involved nationally in AWS on the Resident and Fellows Committee as well as through ASE as a Surgical Education Research Fellow, the 2024-2025 ASE/SIMPL Surgical Education Research Webinar Co-Lead, and a member of the Collaboration of Surgical Education Fellows (CoSEF).
TWITTER HANDLE: @ariananaaseh