Yes, I Want to Be a Surgeon and No, I Don’t Need to Be Talked Out of It

By Lilah Kahloon

Halfway through my third year of medical school, I began feeling the urge to lie whenever someone asked me what specialty I was considering. Going into rotations, I never fell prey to the urge some students have to say they are interested in whatever specialty they are on. When I walked into my first day of internal medicine and was asked what I wanted to do, I was honest. I was eager to learn about everything the internists had to teach me but I was interested in being a surgeon, and I didn’t see a reason to hide that. However, I quickly realized that there was often subtext to the reactions people had when I used the words “general surgery”. Sometimes there were looks of discomfort: the questioner scrunching up their nose as if there was a freshly opened box of blue cheese close by. Other times there were looks of pity: the questioner furrowing their brow and wondering if this poor girl actually knew what it meant to be a surgeon. These reactions came from those outside of my rotations, as well–family friends I ran into at coffee shops, strangers I met at events, and even my mom (in her defense, it must be jarring for a dermatologist’s daughter to tell her she wants to be a general surgeon). Versions of “I could never do it” got thrown around often, and I would nod, saying that I understood it was not for everyone. I began feeling like to everyone who wasn’t a surgeon, choosing surgery was synonymous with choosing self-suffering.

Of course, I am choosing to highlight the bad. I had support from those outside of surgery, but the truth is, it was rare. The moments of support without some kind of “but” (“but surgery has a terrible lifestyle” or “but you should only do surgery if you hate everything else”) did not come by often. I wondered if it was because I’m a woman. For some people, it was. I sat through a few lectures about what it takes to have a family when you choose surgery. For others, my gender had nothing to do with it. Regardless of the reasoning, I became infuriated by all of it at a certain point. I realized, however, that none of these people were trying to infuriate me. They probably all meant well, with genuine concern that I might not know what I was getting myself into. I was internalizing their words too much, letting them shake me. I had mentally prepared for most of the challenges medical school would bring, but I hadn’t prepared for these moments of self-defense. 

Now, officially a general surgery applicant, I can say that arguably the biggest strength I have gained in the past two years has been resolve. I feel resolved in my ability to become a happy surgeon. Not the mean, over-worked, or unsatisfied one that some people might be scared of me becoming. For me, being happy means truly loving what I do. My resolve has come from learning to hold on tightly to the joy I feel when envisioning my future career in surgery and loosening my grip on the opinions of others. So to anyone wondering: yes, I want to be a surgeon and no, I don’t need to be talked out of it. 

Lilah Kahloon is a fourth-year medical student at the University of Louisville School of Medicine. She is currently applying to General Surgery residency for the 2025-2026 Match cycle. Her interests include global health and surgical education.